Today I left Kandahar. I packed my bags and threw them in the same land cruiser that brought me in from the airport nine and a half months ago. I said my goodbyes and left them all. I left the guards who allowed me to sleep well at night and the drivers who showed me the hidden streets of the city. I left the men who cooked and cleaned for me whatever my moods or messes. To my logistics team with whom I shared so much. Goodbye cats, Horse, Footsak, Froid and the rest. I said goodbye to my brother Jaweed, who couldn�t look me in the eye but had tears in his. To the expat team, who would only have time to wave before returning to their desks to deal with the always increasing workload. Goodbye to the Coalition and the Taliban, enjoy your war. With my Canadian passport allowing me freedoms unimaginable here, I left the IDPs to scratch out an existence in the dust and send their kids to school through the minefields. Goodbye to the medics to deal with chest infections, malnutrition and the shredded bodies of curious children.   more »

I'll never drink again. Most of the NGO expat community was over last night for my goodbye bash and I didn't get to sleep until three a.m. We had organized loads of food, drinks and the barbeque from ICRC. We set up the cushions in the centre of the house compound, spread a few candles around and evrybody settled in while I ran the grill. Marinated chicken and steaks like hockey pucks. There were about fifteen people all together from Italy, UK, Serbia, Bosnia, Germany, Canada, Nepal, USA, Norway, Sweden, Holland and Switzerland. It was nice and relaxing, not the usual MSF dance scene we were famous for in the past. However, this being Kandahar, curfew crept up and people started to drift off in twos and threes. Email addresses were swapped, promises made to stay in touch, "Take care, this place will get crazy again. Who knows, the aid world is a small one, we'll probably meet in some other dusty war zone." Then they were gone. After months of working in deserts, exchanging theories about window shaking explosions and sharing cool drinks, another Kandahar chapter has closed.   more »

A frantic week of handover to the new logistician has left me with a sore throat, a headache and a feeling that everything will be just fine. Misha is an organized guy that already seems to be able to face the challenges ahead of him. At first I had a strong, protective feeling over the logistics staff. "Make sure Sharif leaves by four to get to his classes. Amadullah can't do any heavy lifting for a week until his arm is better. Hyatullah needs the money to pay for his English course...and Wadud likes two sugars in his chai." Okay, maybe not the two sugars one but I've realized how well I know these men and their ways and how close I've become to many of them. For Misha, I've run him through the main points of the job and told him to trust in his staff. They know the work and the place can operate without us. Nine months is a long time and it is impossible to micro-manage for that long without becoming exhausted. It's almost time to let go and it is difficult. Shit,I forgot to tell him about Hamid's dentist appointment, and Ghulam Nabi needs a chain for his bike...

-- Guest Entry from Doctor Hamil -- I am working in Afghanistan for a bit more than 3 month as a medical doctor and to start with a good thing I fell in love with this weird country. It definitely must be a she, when I look at her gorgeous body I feel like drinking it. But unfortunately I don�t have the opportunity very often as we are restricted in our movements to the necessary ones, which means for me to see the hospital, some other NGO (Non Governmental Organisation) compounds and the way to the airport, not to forget our own nice compound that doesn�t always appears to be that nice especially after staying inside for a couple of weeks.   more »

I’m sitting on a dusty window ledge looking through a warped windowpane with a notebook on my lap. Behind me, a policeman fills in paperwork that will extend my Afghan visa for another thirty days. Below me, the hustle of Sheydan Chowk, the main roundabout in central Kandahar. Martyrs Circle is dominated by a white and blue structure covered with Pashtu script. Surrounding it is four green cannons left by the British a hundred and fifty years ago. Cannons and martyrs, the imperialist powers legacy to Afghanistan since the invention of gunpowder. Construction continues on the central arch structure and probably will until those who wish to subjugate these people realize the futility of their enterprise. From Alexander to the Persian Shahs, the Sultans of Merv, Bohkra, Samarakand, the British Raj and the Red Army, Afghans have fought and died. Their cities have been occupied but the people never vanquished.   more »

Today we were like boys with mechano sets. I spent the better part of the day hauling heavy boxes from a storeroom and packing it to the delivery room of the Obstetrics and Gynaecology Ward (OGW). Once we had the room full of enough boxes, we ripped them apart and stood looking at the spilled contents. Delivery beds, surgical tables and trays, wheeled stretchers. We rubbed our chins for a minute and jumped in. It was a bit like the afternoon after a girlfriend had dragged me through Ikea all morning. I watched in silence for a minute while Wali, Rohullah and Sharif yelled at each other and started bolting pieces together without any sense of order. I finally interjected and forced them, against their will, to follow the instructions. 'Insert small bolt A into hole 6 on cross piece C and tighten with supplied accessary tool 2.' Okay. 'First be sure to attach self-tapping structure bar 3 to external frame D and tighten.' D'oh! When there are ladies giving birth on these tables, I don't want to hear any shouting about how tough child birth is.   more »

Today I faced a room full of men, two thirds of whom were about to lose their jobs. We have made a decision to resume operations in Zhare Dasht camp but with a reduced presence. Instead of one Basic Health Unit (BHU), with a night shift, and two Health Posts (HP), we will start operations with only the day shift BHU. This means that out of a total of thirty-two guards and cooks, only eleven will still have a job by the end of the meeting. I looked at their faces as they waited for me to begin, nervous smiles and quick nods as I looked over the room. Poor men with families to support looking at me, an uncertain future personified. Good men who I worked with through sandstorms and diphtheria, roasting heat and Taliban threats. In nine months with MSF, through numerous bomb blasts, wild automatic weapons fire and too many malnourished little babies to count, this has been the worst day.   more »

The Zhare Dasht explo mission. A rather dramatic definition for a trip I�ve made too many times to count. I jumped into a land cruiser with Jan Peter, Wali and Dr. Maboobshah and with Jawed and Sadiqullah in another we took off for the IDP camp. We want to get the medical services running again so it was time to get up there and do a security assessment. In thirty minutes we arrived at our first destination, the compound of Commander Habibullah Jan in Senzari village. Habibullah Jan is security responsible for the area around the road leading to Helmand province west of Kandahar. His private army patrols the tracks and valleys of this region, often coming into conflict with destabilization forces. He was holding court in front of his compound with a group of elders as a smartly uniformed guard with a handlebar moustache waved us in. I�ve seen him many times but this was the first time that I would have an opportunity to speak with him.   more »

What a day, what a day, what a day. I�m shorthanded in logistics. My purchaser, log assistant and storekeeper have all decided, without informing me, that they needed a couple extra days off after Eid. With Safi from administration gone to Pakistan to see his family, it only leaves me and Jaweed to run the whole show. On top of this, a Certain Someone (CS) is under my skin all the time and Hamil is pissed off for his own reasons. In nine days my replacement, Michael, arrives and he can inherit all this. I�m going to be very sad to leave the guys but mornings like this make it easier. I�ll spend the weekend sticking blast film on to the land cruiser windows in preparation for an Explo mission to Zhare Dasht. I�ll drive up with the PC, Jan Peter, to assess whether it will be possible to resume operations at the Basic Health Post. I�ll be able to get the hell out of here for a few hours and get back into the camp environment that makes this job so worthwhile. Eighteen days to go (but who�s counting?) and the compound walls are giving me one final squeeze.   more »

This place is strange. After a frantic day at the office organizing everybody else�s problems, I managed to sneak out for a while to clear my head. We have donated two of our minivans to another NGO who are handling the transport logistics for patients from Zhare Dasht. I went over to their compound with three of my drivers but had to wait a while before we could move the vehicles inside their compound. The situation is tense enough here to try to avoid standing around on a street corner, so I decided I might as well walk down a block and check out the amusement park. This newly opened park, opposite the UN High Commission for Refugees, UNHCR, compound, features a full size Ferris wheel, a centrifugal force teacup ride, a Viking ship pendulum ride and a go-cart track. It is about as Kandahari as a strip club but the locals seem to love it. Hundreds of men line the sidewalk in front of the gates watching hundreds more enjoying themselves inside. I bought a couple of bags of roasted peanuts from an old baba and some oranges from a cute little kid with a prosthetic arm and watched the show.   more »

We celebrated Eid yesterday with the guys working in the compound. As it is a holiday, there was only two drivers, two guards, Jaweed and the four of us. As opposed to �Little Eid�, which is celebrated after Ramadan, �Big Eid� takes place during the time of the Haj. This is the time when millions of Muslims make the pilgrimage to Mecca, something every Muslim who can afford it should do. More to the point here, it is also the time when thousands of sheep are slaughtered on the first day of the celebration. I planned for a similar celebration and sent Jaweed out to buy a sheep. It was also Hamil�s birthday so as a present to him I had Jaweed also pick up a beat up game of table football that I�ve seen in front of a near by shop. I rented it for two days and put it in front of the office close to where we built a barbeque pit. The poor sheep spent its last hours listening to firecrackers in the street, the cheers of football combatants and the sound of knives being sharpened.   more »

The news from Kabul is worrying. Consecutive attacks on the NATO led International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) by suicide bombers, as well as Taliban threats for more attacks in Kabul and Kandahar, has brought another sinister element to the conflict in Afghanistan. The use of suicide bombers is more associated with the war in Iraq, Israel/Palestine and Chechnya, among others. The Taliban have traditionally liked to live to fight another day. This latest trend seems to indicate a tactic favoured more by Al Qaeda, who are closely intertwined with the Taliban. Members of the military, the International aid community and millions of Afghans now wonder if this is the start of the anticipated spring offensive. The risk of being targeted, or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time increases again. No matter how much distance we give the Coalition forces or how strongly we maintain neutrality and impartiality, we realize that it is again time to reassess our movements.   more »

The sky hangs like a grey sheet of ice. People shuffle quickly past swirling dust, only their eyes visible squinting through tightly wrapped scarves. Unlatched windows bang shut and corrugated tin sheets on the roofs creak on old timber. A camel train plods by; ten shaggy, sullen beasts bare yellow teeth and pull at their halters. The wind picks up strength moving through the buildings with a low moan. The sky turns from white to yellow to a sinister dark brown as the winter sandstorm advances. Four American humvees pass by the gates on patrol, spooking the camels. Soldiers manning machine guns on the roofs of the point and tail vehicles nod a greeting, just goggles and helmets pulled deep into their jackets peering over their gun shields. An electronic eye attached to a cannon blinks at me. Shopkeepers move quickly fastening shutters to protect merchandise from the storm. The sand comes like a wall; already the end of the street has vanished, swallowed by the flying debris.   more »

I don't know what it is about this place. I have a month left in my extended contract and I'm not sure if I'm happy about it or not. In a few days, I will be the only one left from the happy gang of summer. What a different time it was then. Parties, swimming pool, and scandalous relationships kept the pressures of work and the ever-present tension of the security situation at bay. Soon my old friend Philippe will leave and then I'm sure I will start counting the days. The expat presence is very limited now and the weather is cold making it difficult to find a pressure release. It would be a different story if we could stroll through the bazaar after work and chat with the locals but security doesn't allow for that.   more »

Rumour of the Day: four men dressed in women's burquas discovered carrying explosives around the bazaar. Great, Al Queda has sent in its transvestite battalion. You think these guys would learn, but they must get away with the old burqua ruse quite often to keep trying it. There are always stories of men attempting to escape detection under the blue shroud that are exposed, and these four sound like they were up for some mischief. I've just spoken to the PC and it seems like it is a true story. Too bad, it goes against the grain of the last two weeks. Perhaps the fellas used up all their bombs and made the long trek to their hidden depots in the hills to restock. Yesterday the Americans detonated a series of massive blasts that went on for most of the day. These were all controlled explosions to destroy old munitions, but still they rattled the hell out of the office windows. I often wonder how much these controlled blasts are also a signal to these AQ and Taliban elements in the city. A not so subtle reminder that if push comes to shove, the Coalition can pick their spot where to set off similar explosions. I watched the last few while enjoying a vodka tonic on the roof.   more »

My name is Jaweed, I'm 25 years old, and I passed grade 12. I studied three months in Lawyer University. After that the security was worse, then I couldn't go to university anymore because it was stopped. Because I was very sad I could'nt follow my uni because the fight was starting between Mujahadden. Then I can't go because of security, first fighting start in Coaty, Songuy. It was big thing with two groups of Mujahadeen.   more »

Almost two weeks and not a single surprise blast to get the adrenaline flowing. I don't know what to do with myself, I might even get some proper work done. The last few days I've been probing the depths of our email designated computer trying to get it to function properly again. We had the email (CC Mail) program installed on our new laptop but for reasons beyond my ability to figure out the bloody thing won't respond. I've even contacted the IT guy in Amsterdam and gone through the whole process step by step over the phone but still nothing. The power button on our old email computer is totally shot and if it is accidentally shut down, as I did the other day while daydreaming about pizza and Kylie, then the only effective way of starting it is to rummage around the sides of the button with a paper clip until it sparks up. Not the manufacturers recommended way I'm sure, but better than my alternatives of throwing it into the open sewer behind the office or backing a land cruiser over it.   more »

'Afghanistan without educated women is like a bird with one wing.' -Female Afghan NGO worker We're trying to find an Afhan female doctor or midwife to act as supervisor for the Obstetrics and Gynecological ward at Mirwais Hospital. I had found a good candidate from our staff act as a translator for our expat medical team, but the supervisor role will be a tougher one to fill. I've just finished having a cup of tea with the PC, Jan Peter, and he told me that with a 'salary cap' being initiated by the MOH, finding female medical professionals should now become possible. The situation now means that Afghan female doctors, who are rare and highly prized, have traditionally been snapped up by big budget organizations like WHO and UNICEF. MSF, which is well funded through private donations, tends to put its money more into the programs and pay slightly lower salaries to both its international and national staffs. There has never been a problem finding highly qualified people to fill these positions but in the traditionally conservative area of Southern Afghanistan, it has meant that most female doctors tend to find positions in Kabul or other less restrictive and more lucrative areas of the country.   more »

There are some dodgy characters here. I had a walk around the compound with an NGO security expert this morning. I wanted to get to the hospital but as he is in town only a couple of days I thought it would be a good idea to take advantage of the opportunity. Tomorrow for sure. 'Zis is where I would place ze device in order to cause ze casualties maximum.' He said, his eyes sad at some distant memory. 'I saw it in Beirut.' We stolled around the office and house discusses the measures I had put in place. He nodded with approval when he inspected these and shook his head with dismay at areas he felt could be improved.   more »

I've been neglecting some great emails I've been getting over the last few weeks, and with the city momentarily quiet the last forty eight hours, (only one blast and an attack on an American base- repulsed) I'll try to get to them now. Sorry this is a bit late, especially for those people on their way here. Ashok, There's no special threats towards foreign diplomats that aren't faced by all of us right now. Kandahar is a tough place and there have been ambushes and kidnappings recently. Two Indian engineers, among others, have spent a few days as guests of the Taliban but were released unharmed. If you do come out as a member of the Indian Consular delegation, you can be sure that they will have very tight security procedures. The private sector as well has security procedures and many of the people involved in rebuilding Afghanistan's roads works under the watchful eye of armed guards. One of the biggest threats is just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.   more »

Whose bloody idea was it to stay up late, drink vodka and watch the helicopters? I was happily tucked in for the night after a long day of planning project orders and trying to find out some information about the terrible blast that killed eighteen women and children out by the eastern 'Taliban' gates when my windows started to shake. Eleven pm, what the hell were the Americans up to at this hour? When I heard them start to circle, I jumped up for a look. Jan Pater woke up and came out, also shivering in his boxer shorts.   more »

Well shit, that didn't take long. Less than three hours after the conclusion of the Loya Jurga constitutional process, explosions and automatic rifle fire erupted around the corner at the UNHCR (UN High Commission for Refugees) compound. Initial reports state that gunmen drove up in front of the compound, threw an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) at the wall and opened fire on the guards in front. Luckily, nobody was injured and the car sped off before the police arrived. The UNHCR compound is located on a wide, well-lit street regularly patrolled by American forces. Without giving away too many details, the possible presence of US troops is usually a serious deterrent and an attack like this within the city is uncommon. All we could do was settle in and wait to see what the new day would bring.   more »

The Constitutional Loya Jurga has wrapped up under a giant white tent on a hilltop in Kabul. Twenty one days of acrimonious debate concerning all aspects of what a document like this draft should represent plus the added spice of this being Afghanistan. UNAMA bigshot Brahimi and Karzai got up in turn in front of the assembly to announce the successful conclusion of deliberations and declare the way forward is clear, while at the same time wagging a finger at those elements that may serve to disrupt this agreed way forward. Unfortunately, I don't have access to the details of the constitution, (no internet or English newspapers) so I'm relying on the bits and pieces I hear from the guys in the office. From what I can gather, these are the main points'   more »

Note: This Entry Appears out of order due to a technical screw up My conciousness returned with a thump as the wheels touched down at Dubai International Airport. I'd only just managed to make the three a.m. flight out of Islamabad after nodding off in the departure lounge and missing the boarding call. The early hour of this flight is reflected in the cheap cost of the ticket and the hordes of Indian and Pakistani workers who make their living doing the menial jobs that citizens of the Emirates prefer to avoid. I took advantage of this bargain ticket to make my way to a beach and find a way to avoid the freezing nights of Herat where I had the option of spending Santa's holy day of consumerism with fellow MSF people people in from the projects for a couple of days. Fun as it would have been, I couldn't resist the opportunity to see a Gulf country built on the back of the mighty petrodollar and see a different side of Islamic culture away from the fundamentalist interpretations in Kandahar.   more »

Happy New Year. We just told about a third of our staff that they will probably be out of a job in a months time. Not a very nice way to begin but if we are to have any chance of starting up the health care in Zhare Dasht again it will have to be with a reduced presence and on an irregular schedule. We are vulnerable to attack on the road out to the camp and our past practice of running minivans full of staff on a predictable time schedule is potentially, asking for trouble. On top of this, the level of care we were providing far exceeds that available in the surrounding communities. It's a balancing act when dealing with a displaced population located in the midst of an existing one. If the existing community also suffers from things such as inadequate health care, then it is easy for a feeling of resentment to build. While the presence of the IDPs creates employment possibilities for the locals, as they are outsiders, their presence can also lead to tension. Afghans often have stronger ties to their ethnic group than to the concept Pan-Afghan nationalism.   more »

Excellent to be back in Kandahar but shit, it's cold. The warm greetings from all the guys as I pulled into the compound was fun but an icy, grey sky soon forced me indoors. Back to the grind, eight weeks left in my contract. The guys did a great job keeping the programs going while we were away but there is lots of work to do to get on top of things again. I came down with our new Head of Mission, Nelke, the MedCo, Gloria, the new Project Coordinator, Jan Peter, and my friend Hamil. A good lunch and then we jumped right in to meetings and for me, a briefing on decisions that have been made while I've been sunning myself. Basically, except for a few minor changes, things will continue pretty much as before. The security is still a major factor in influencing our operations but it looks like we are going to run the Obstetrics and Gynaecology ward at the Mirwais Hospital in Kandahar so we will have lots to do. It's unfortunate because it's interesting to be involved in the IDP camp at Zhare Dasht and we do a lot of good work there, but for now the referral process is running effectively and we will do a reassessment on the viability of returning in a months time.   more »

'Dubaidubaidubaidubaidubai!, car Dubai, good car Dubai, you mister go Dubai then coming please.' The end of a holiday. Good food, lots of scuba diving and a beautiful Norwegian lady already being dragged kicking and screaming out of the present and into my memory bank. I left Korfakkan, a lovely little town on the east coast of the United Arab Emirates, and was heading to Dubai International for the flight to Islamabad and eventually Afghanistan. Ten of the best days of my life behind me and now an old Arab trying to pull my rucksack away to throw in his taxi. I climbed aboard and settled in for the ride.   more »

My head was clouded the next morning with too little sleep and too much vodka. Coffees and frantic last minute organizing quickly cleared the fog from my brain and in the two hours we had before the flight left we felt most things were in place. The order of responsibility was agreed and I'd left lists of jobs tacked to the walls of my office for the guys to look after over the next three days. I felt a bit like a worried parent but reminded myself that these guys had already been through an expat withdrawal earlier in the year after an ICRC expat was murdered in Uruzgan province to the north of Kandahar. They knew what to do to keep things going smoothly and were already ticking things of the lists as I ran around trying to pack some of my gear. Everyone came out to see us off as Hamil and I loaded our bags into the cruiser. I felt terrible. It wouldn't have been too bad if they were all packing up to leave as well but with them staying behind I couldn't help but feel we were abandoning them. They laughed this off and wished us a speedy return. In three days most of them were going to have an extended paid holiday and looked forward to spending the extra time with their families during this tense time.   more »

Last week: 'Okay, I've got some bad news and the first thing I want to tell you that this is a security decision and it is not reversible.' I stared dumbly into my cup of tea with the cell phone pressed against my ear, my face warmed in the early morning sun. I knew what was coming. 'We've had thorough discussions here and with HQ in Amsterdam and we've decided to pull you and Hamil out of Kandahar temporarily and reduce operations for a skeletal staff to manage. This will stay in affect for three weeks in which time we will then reassess the situation.'   more »

The days continue to be difficult and I either haven't found the time or a computer to keep these entries coming out on a regular basis. Since my most recent entry, another bomb has gone off in the centre of Kandahar leading to a temporary suspension of MSF expat presence in the city. A little over a week ago, while I was at the airport seeing off our interim PC, Vickie, a bomb strapped to the back of a bicycle exploded near a central roundabout injuring about twenty people, five seriously. The attack was suspected to be in account of the Loya Jirga, the Constitutional Assembly, which was taking place in Kandahar during that time. This process, which registers voters for next years elections, is an attempt to secure the progression of the Interim Governing Council, of which Karzai is the president, to a nationally elected government in June 2004. Elements within the country opposed to such a course, such as the Taliban, see this time as being instrumental to disrupt these attempts at responsible government by launching indiscriminate attacks in an attempt to discredit the existing government by exposing its inability to maintain a secure environment.   more »

I think it's been three weeks since the last entry and a lot has happened, most of it I can't detail because of the continuing delicate security context that still exists in Southern Afghanistan. The car bomb outside the UN headquarters brought the conflict to the heart of the INGO community in Kandahar, and the subsequent murder of a French UN Officer in Ghanzi a few days later further shook an aid community trying to find ways to continue their operations in the region. Once again, we have had to suspend our operations in Zhare Dahst IDP camp because of our staff intensive, predictable movements along the unsecured roads from Kandahar. Once again, we have established a referral system, in partnership with the Ministry of Health and an excellent local organization, AHDS, to deal with the patient caseload. At the time of writing, there are still bugs to be worked out with this system but at least the care is there for the IDPs.   more »

Bertein left Kandahar today, having completed her six-month contract, and is on her way to Holland via Turkmenistan. I was sad to see her go. We arrived here together in May, got the project running fairly smoothly again, sweated through the roasting summer heat, totalled hundreds of kilometres in land cruisers to and from the camp, dashed for cover after an explosion rocked our compound, started water rugby matches in another NGOs swimming pool, argued about meetings, picked raisons out our bowls of cereal and last week polished off a half bottle of Johnny Walker on the roof. She was good fun and a hard worker. I'll miss her, she's a good friend. Unfortunately, due to the sudden deterioration in the security situation, we had to cancel both a national staff and expat goodbye party for her. She did leave at a good time though with the security situation in the toilet and the nights getting progressively colder.   more »

The calm after the storm. The city is tense following the attacks yesterday. UN agencies and NGOs meet in different venues around Kandahar during the day and stay close to their compounds at night. I feel like a prisoner again. Now we start the same old discussions about what is and isn't an acceptable risk. Should we go to the camp? Low profile slow vehicle or well-marked speedy four wheel drive? Does that rumour about the Mullah have any foundation? Who blew up that vehicle outside the UN offices and caused us to have to cancel Bertein's farewell party? Our computer has been down for two days and when I got it fired up again there were sixty two messages in our inbox-fifty of them security related. This will go on and on, summarizing, evaluating, discussing, speculating, restricting movements, securing approaches to compounds'on and on and on.   more »

About an hour ago, a huge explosion rocked our compound and threw a plume of smoke and dust high into the air. The upstairs windows beside the roof door were blasted in and an ominous piece of twisted metal, about twelve inches in diameter, landed in our compound in front of the office. We are about two blocks away. Inside this piece of ragged, charred steel is a triple A battery and some home made wiring. Everyone is pretty shook up but we're all drinking tea, trying to let the adrenaline settle. Sketchy reports we have gotten so far seem to indicate a car bomb was detonated outside some UN offices. This has not been confirmed and of yet there are no reports of casualties. I rushed to the forecourt and looked toward the area of destruction but couldn't see much through the smoke. I could however, hear shouting and screaming clearly from my vantage point.   more »

Work is crazy again but too much security stuff I can't write about so instead I'll try to answer some comments and questions. Turqoise, Salam alakom, thanks for the 'props'. What part of the country are you from? Afghanistan is a fantastic place and it's a pleasure to be here even with all the shit happening. The people for the most part are strong and noble but they have a temper and memories like elephants. MSF works in some dodgy places around the world. Liberia, Burundi, DRC, Iraq and Somalia to name a few. They started in Nigeria during the Biafran war in 1967 and have been getting into the thick of it since then. There's about twenty six NGOs in Kandahar now so by no means are we the only ones.   more »

I had to make another quick trip out to the customs checkpoint last night. This is actually a police check that inspects vehicle passengers and cargo on the main Heart 'Kandahar road far away from any international border. It's known as the Silo post as it's located across the road from a giant grain silo that sits unused since the Russians spitefully blew the top off the elevator by tank fire before pulling out of the country. The technical logistician, Victor, from HQ had managed to get through with one of the minivans being brought down, but the second one with its driver was detained. Every cargo sent down this way is stopped and these thirty minute drives to the roadblock have become routine. I jumped in with Mr Omer, the night driver, and Jaweed, and armed with the cargo manifest and MSF ID prepared to lock horns once again with my old foe, Superintendent Karim.   more »

(This update was misplaced and so it appears out of order) 'Kashmiris are Not Children of a Lesser God!' The huge banner stretched along the side of the avenue, lit by the headlights of the congested traffic. The driver that had collected me from the airport chain-smoked Marlboroughs as I watched the other motorists jockeying for position, sometimes four cars wide over the two lanes. Green trees and a wide grass verge prevented more impatient drivers from coming abreast of us and angry horns beeped continuously. Another large sign emerges from the gloom, 'Islamabad, The Capital City.' That's a catchy nickname for a city. I opened my window to let the acrid cigarette smoke out. An old man tottering through the cars comes to my window and holds up some newspapers for sale. His eyes are milky with cataracts and his lips tucked into his mouth for lack of teeth. I feel sorry for him and buy an Urdu paper for the driver. He happily hobbles off, in stark contrast to the sleek vehicles that spring forward together on the command of a policeman directing traffic.   more »

It was another of those conversations that can only happen in a place like this. I suppose it could take place anywhere but here you pay attention to every word. �Don�t you ever get nervous when you�re defusing a mine?� Bertein asked �Andy�, an British NGO demining engineer. �Only with the little ones, they hurt.� He deadpanned.   more »

Islamabad is a distant memory. After five days of shopping, good food and a welcome lack of automatic weapons fire disturbing my sleep I feel refreshed and ready to face the realities of work again. Retail therapy is even more effective when spending large quantities of company money and I came back with stacks of electronic gear, including a security alarm I helped design, and only enough rupees left to buy a fanta. On another account, I�ve also purchased a new generator and five minivans. HQ is going to have a fit.   more »

Finally, after a two week wait, we got the BHU in Zhare Dahst operational again. Our reopening of the health centre was conditional on an improved security environment based around two checkpoints controlling the entrances to the camp as well as an increase in mobile patrols. Those elements have been put in place and we called the staff in to go back and get everything set up. The IDPs were very happy to have their camp secured and the resumption of convenient health care. It is also a relief for the medical team who are operating below capacity when there is no access to the camp.   more »

Delirium is a very personal thing. My mind runs rampant, bringing forward scraps of memory in a confused anarchy and patching them together in an endless chaotic reel. My fever last night wasn't very strong but I've been unfortunate enough to have had many hallucinatory battles resulting from malaria and most recently in July, typhoid. Kids from my primary school shout incoherently at shifting groups of Taliban dressed in baseball uniforms. Images of stock lists provide the curtained backdrop as an ex girlfriend sings ditties from television advertisements. 'Mr. Clean will clean your house, and everything within it, Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean, Mr.Cleeaann' Thrashing around until the blankets are in a tight knot then trying to half consciously to crawl underneath them when the cold sweats descend. Fever makes me want to leave.   more »

Fever 39 degrees. Right now I feel like I've got the bends, have my head stuck in a vice, twenty litres of boiling acid in my guts and I'm shaking like a bowl of jello on a tumble dryer. I just want to lie on a couch and watch daytime TV while popping multi coloured happy pills.

Twenty five hundred seasoned Taliban troops mass in the hidden valleys of the rugged border region in preparation for an invasion of Zabul, and ultimately Kandahar provinces. Sales of motorcycles from Pakistan and cell phones from the Gulf have risen dramatically as this powerful force readies its transport and communication capabilities. Arms and ammunition dumps have been hidden throughout South East Afghanistan and millions of dollars generated from, among other things, the heroin trade, provide financing for much more. The relatively rich autumn harvest will supplement food supplies as winter approaches. Their primary target will be US and Afghan government forces, but civilians deemed 'stooges' of the regime and aid workers are also on this ominous list. Information taken from Ahmed Rashid's excellent article in today's Telegraph- a must read   more »

What a crap day, I'm tired and pissed off. A cat sleeping on my desk in front of the printer is just about the only thing that will dare come near me right now. The cats are acting cute in preparation for winter. As soon as spring comes around they'll go back to being fluffy little bags of attitude. Scheming little minxes. There's nothing to write about today. I feel like a drone, punching out administrative shite on a keyboard for endless hours. I'm surrounded by communication equipment. HF, VHF, Thuraya satellite phone, Mini-M sat phone, cell phone and even a laptop beside my desktop. There's no internet or else I'd be planning my flights to the tropics right now. Maybe I'll tie a rude note to the cats tail and see who gets it. It's lying on its back with its tongue hanging out. Another five minutes and I'll check for a pulse. I'm off to Islamabad on Wednesday to do some shopping for the project and clear my head a bit. Until then'print. Yep, it's alive.

Ya, das iz gut! Kandahar Oktoberfest Party 2003. Mein Got, what a party it was. After a day off spent sunning ourselves, Bertein and I headed over to the UNHCR compound to eat infidel food and drink tankards of beer. Big Herbutus, HCR Security Officer was the driving force behind the party. We walked in the gate, ducking a barrage of German/English as Herbutus barked at the cowering chowkidors for not organizing the car parking to a Teutonic standard.   more »

The six month order arrived today and not a moment too soon. Twice a year we receive a bulk shipment of medicines and logistical supplies which travels by truck from the warehouses in Holland, across Europe, Russia, a couple of dodgy 'istan' republics and finally to HQ in Heart. From there, it is distributed to local transport agents who deliver it to the various projects. The lead in time for this is about thirteen weeks from the date the order is placed until the supplies arrive. The trick is estimating drug consumption rates based on both current and projected levels. Different seasons mean different drugs needed. It's no good looking at consumption figures for cholera for December when it is most prevalent in the hot summer months, and vice-versa for diphtheria. There is also 'buffer stock' to calculate as well as 'needs per order period', 'needs till delivery', 'free stock at delivery' and 'needs till theoretical stock out'. Whoever invented Excel is a legend to the humble loggie.   more »

Oh terrific, time to play 'guess who set off that bomb!' This is an old favourite around here. A sudden, massive explosion rocks the office and rattles the windows. This last one about thirty seconds ago was easy, Coalition forces out at Gecko base blasting old munitions. How can I tell? Easy in this case. The direction it came from is north, where the base is located, and has the heavy concussion capable of rippling my tea. When there is an attack on the base by rockets, the blasts are sharper, multiple and happen at night. Bombs set off in buildings are always followed by a reaction from our chowkidors and grenades sound like solid timber cracking. When the Americans are blasting away at some target out in the hills, there is always an accompaniment of whopping helicopters and when a large truck blew out a front tire and shook our gate last week everyone giggled off the adrenaline in relief it wasn't an attack.   more »

We pulled up the leafy drive and stopped the Hilux in front of the green doors of the Infectious Disease Ward of Mirwais Hospital. I walked in with our Ward Supervisor, Yaqub, and stopped to let my eyes adjust to the gloom. Doctors and nurses walked busily around the various male and female wings. Relatives of patients talked in the corridors clutching apples and loaves of bread. An old lady spotted me and tugged at my elbow, jabbering incessantly in Pashtu. Yaqub interceded and directed her to a nurse. He explained that she was asking which room her husband was in. He walked her to the door and she left mumbling to herself. He told me with a sad smile that her husband had died years before on the ward, since then she came in every other week asking about him.   more »

Logistics can be a pain in the ass. It's one thing when things get screwed up because the Taliban and Al Queda don't cooperate with my finely tuned plans but something altogether different when my own colleagues in the other departments decide to turn things around 180 degrees. Today was going to be clockwork. I had four minivans lined up to depart at eleven to bring the Elders down from the camp for a three o'clock meeting with the Head of Mission and the Governor in Kandahar. Two other minivan drivers were told not to come in today and they left to find other work. The NGO camp managers had a rendezvous point and time set up and had spread it around to the settlements. Everything, foolishly, had been worked out to the last detail. 'Carlos, we need all six minivans tomorrow to serve as ambulances for the IDPs, they need to be ready to leave here at seven a.m. We'll have to rent a coaster to bring the Elders down.'   more »

There are times when difficult decisions are made that either way have short-term consequences. When dealing with the welfare of vulnerable populations those decisions can be a matter of life and death. With attacks on NGO staff increasing in Southern Afghanistan, a decision has been made by the MSF Head of Mission in Afghanistan and the HQ in Amsterdam to suspend our operations in the Zhare Dahst IDP camp until this situation can be improved. This has been done to put the considerable influence MSF wields to protect our staff, both international and national, and to help create a safer environment for the people of this region. Unfortunately, this action, which is directed at initiating a response from the government authorities, could come at a serious cost to the inhabitants of the camp. Doing nothing and accepting the deteriorating security situation could be much worse.   more »

The walls are closing in. Movements have been temporarily restricted to Kandahar city. National staff have been given the option of travelling to the IDP camp and all but two continue to do so. One of the staff has resigned as there was no job post we could give him at the base. He explained that his father was killed by gunmen while working for an NGO. He is now the only man in his family with a job and is responsible for providing for his extended family. It is better to be alive and without work for a short while than to risk a similar fate. The rest of the staff travel in a convoy of minivans and make frequent radio checks, few of them sleep en route.   more »

'Okay, okay MSF, why don't we continue to disregard the past things that have come to us and solve fortuitously what it is we are proceeding for.' Who the hell are you? 'It is not for want these technical matters for otherwise problematic circumstances.' What!? Exaggerated sigh, a shake of his head loosens his turban. He walks back to the carpet draped motorcycle and reaches into a hidden pocket, pushing back the material that drops over his face. I'm standing inside the blue gates of the UNHCR compound in a crucifix pose getting a scan from the uniformed security guard. My eyes follow the man as he comes back from his bike clutching a crumpled envelope.   more »

It's really starting to hit the fan now. What was promising to be a fun day playing with our new generator dissipated in a crash of gunfire at the Zhare Dahst IDP camp. Around ten in the morning, armed men in a saracha, a typical yellow and white Toyota Corolla taxi, drove up to a marked NGO demining unit clearing a site for a possible future settlement. For security reasons I won't write about the details of the attack in this blog, but they opened fire and luckily only one mine clearer was slightly injured. The vehicle sped off to the hills before the security forces arrived. It is sometimes too easy to forget our situation here and the deadly suddenness it can change.   more »